I am probably breaking all he rules of journal here, by not asking the person invovled, but I really want a second opinion.
If I am wrong I want to know, but if it is only one persons thoughts I want to know also.
I have stated that I understand why some people could want to be warned if a fic contains a transgendered pairing. I understand how finding out or having had found out that, your partner had been born a different sex can be a trigger to some people.
This is not to say I think it is wrong in any way. I don't. And I don't think I would have a problem with finding out my partner was transgendered, I had fallen in love with the person not the genetilia.
But, I stated that I still reserved the right to be shocked and maybe a little angry, if I had found out later into the relationship. It was pointed out to me that a person didn't owe me their past, and it shouldn't reflect on the relationship. That if transgendered people and lifestyles truly didn't bother me then I shouldn't be angry.
Again, I concede the point. I think I would be angry though, depending on the length of time that had elapsed in the relationship. I know its dangerous and a weighty thing, and I should be honored. I think it would totally depend on the the circumstances and the length of time involved wither I felt honored they told me or pissed they didn't trust me enough to tell me sooner?
But no right not to be shocked? This I can't seem to agree with. I don't think it has anything to do with wither or not I accept a person, or would leave them or not. Humans regardless of if we want to believe it or not. Categorize people. We do it on looks, sex, gender and a myrid of other things. My hypothetical lover/friend would have just told me that something I believed to be intrinsically true was not. The organization of my world would have to be shifted. Do I not have a right to be shocked? Do I not have the right to sit there and blink a few times, maybe drink a coffee? Does this make me bad person?
I thought that it was the actions I took after the shock and or the length it to me to get over said shock that me a hypocrite. Maybe I was wrong.
Oh and the Note that these were the same justifications that the murders of transgendered people used maybe true, was just -----no, no no. Just no. I am a sociologist. Someone I consider a friend is transgendered. I thought I was open minded, maybe I have indeed found something I need to work on. Have I? However the implication of that note! pisses me off!