Creative Cravings

In case anyone one is wondering why I haven't been on much the last few days. I got my wisdom tooth pulled Monday afternnon. So that knocked out two days of online time, and went back to school to find out I have a test tommrow covering three Units of work. Normally I like Summer Classes but cramming some courses that equal about 3-4 months of work into 1? Some its doable, some its just slightly insane. Sighs, its a good thing a good portion of these Geography Units where review from my previous Geology Course.

Life sucks, CP really sucks. I have to go to Winston Salem NC to see a specialist that gets to decide if he will or will not see me, based on my records. Pompous jack #@$#$#. I stand a better chance because I have had a rizodomi and because of my insurance. You know that second MRI that I thought would reveal nothing? No such luck. Instead it revealed FOUR things wrong with my back and the neurologist thinks its more like five. Now these would really be serious except for the slipped disk, if it wasn't for my CP, which means that because of the way that I walk the problems will keep coming back and getting worse. Plus the spasticaty is getting worse again, basically I have a lot of stuff wrong that needs a lot of stuff to fix it but in order for the stuff to fix it to work I need other stuff to happen that needs the other problem to be gone. I am caught in a snarl of tumbleweed. If we don't do something soon, it will end up with me in a wheel-chair! This is currently hard to believe when my back feels like it is on the mend, but there it is. The mend won't last. I know this, but I don't know what to do. To top that all off I am somehow suppose to lose weight, but ex cerise agrivates the problems in the back!!! Its a multiple case of catch-22!! I am going to go curl up and cry now! Suffice it to say that this is why I have not been online lately.

Possibilities of stretching castes, AF0s, nerve blocks, back surgery, therapy, canes, walkers, wheel-chairs, pain, and lord knows what else! I thought I was done with this for good!

I am a feedback addict. I am not getting the most feedback that I feel I could for my Torch wood fic here, part of this could be my fics suck. Part of this could be insanejournal is a smaller than say livejournal. I don't want to start posting there again, but I was wondering should I?

Second. I decided to take some classes over the summer. Two, both classes I need to take. Both classes I do not want to take. Geography, and lab. Yuck! I would rather take Geology, which I love!!!! But the Geo labs at this Uni, are not as...new as the ones at the community college.... where I took the other classes. I am HIGHLY allergic to metals. IE that is not a good situation. Whines so, sighs.

My neurologist wants to give me Botox injections in the back of my legs, as a type of nerve block to hopefully help my CP. These are not FDA approved and are therefore still considered experimental. This would not normally worry me. America's FDA regulations have become just this side of making it so that medical advances are no longer possible in this country. Frankly, if it were not for me be a case study in some cases I would not be walking now, the thing is I read the FDA alert on Botox and CP and it worries me. The risks maybe higher than the potental pay off in my case, and the idioticacy of this office staff over the last three months is less then reassuring! I am all for being involved in my medical treatment, but it is not my responsibility to make sure the entire medical community of that office does their jobs!